How to Face Down Estate Planning Paralysis

When certified financial planner (CFP) AJ Ayers helped clients with their basic estate planning documents, she noticed they often got stuck on one step: finalizing the paperwork.

“They would create an online estate plan and then wouldn’t complete the step where you need a notary to watch you sign it with two witnesses,” she says.

To remove that hurdle, Ayers and her team at Brooklyn Fi — a financial planning firm in New York — threw a series of “martinis and mortality” parties. Clients could bring their prepared documents to notarize while socializing.

The series was such a hit that she’s already done four more. And she’s noticed more of her clients following through.

If you’re also struggling to complete your estate planning, here are some more ways to finally get it done.

Add the task to your calendar

You may not have a fun notary event to attend, but you can make a date with yourself to get it done. Translation: Pick a time and place and put it on your calendar. First, finish your paperwork. Then, find a notary at your local bank, credit union or even a UPS Store.

“It’s just an administrative hurdle for clients who lead busy lives,” Ayers says.

Just like visiting the dentist or arranging an annual check-up, you have to schedule it. You can even plan to reward yourself with your favorite beverage after you get home to make sure you keep the self-made appointment.

Take inventory

Estate planning can feel emotional and overwhelming. Saundra Whitaker-Bryant, an accredited financial counselor who holds a doctorate in business management, suggests starting by simply writing down your assets and what’s valuable to you.

“No matter what you have, it’s yours and it’s valuable,” she says. That may include a small bank account, a digital asset like a social media account or a piece of jewelry with sentimental value.

“People will come to me and say, ‘I don’t have anything,’” Maryland-based Whitaker-Bryant says. But when she presses them, she learns that they have a house, a bank account and other assets that they want to leave to their loved ones.

Writing down all of that information is an important step, and it’s easy. She says it often helps people overcome their hesitancy to even think about estate planning.

Seek the support you need

Estate planning needs vary greatly. Those with simple situations may be able to rely on online templates and services to draft their documents. Others may need to hire a lawyer to help them.

People who don’t have kids may need a professional fiduciary to make decisions if they are incapacitated, says Nashville-area based Jay Zigmont, CFP and founder of Childfree Trust.

“The whole estate system assumes you have a next of kin, and if you don’t, it breaks down,” he says. Childfree Trust offers a fiduciary to serve in that role if needed.

“We essentially become their next of kin,” Zigmont says. “It’s about who will make decisions for you when you’re alive.”

Websites like Trust & Will, LegalZoom and FreeWill offer other estate planning options.

Get motivation from your loved ones

Without an estate plan in place, family members are often left scrambling. Managing someone’s finances if they become incapacitated — or settling an estate if they die — is a complex process that can involve lawyers, courts and lots of paperwork.

Even as a financial expert, Beth Pinsker, a CFP in New York, found the task challenging when she had to suddenly take over her mom’s finances.

Her book, “My Mother’s Money: A Guide to Financial Caregiving” aims to help others through what she learned.

“It’s so much easier to do these things beforehand than to suffer the consequences of not doing them,” she says.

Your loved ones can more easily make medical and financial decisions for you, if needed, with the proper estate planning documents in place.

Given the so-called Great Wealth Transfer — which refers to assets being inherited by Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z — it’s more important than ever to get those tasks done.

“You need some kind of instruction document and legal authorization for somebody to be in charge after you die,” Pinsker says.

Once your documents are done and official, you and your loved ones can live with less worry.