Domestic violence - SABRA stands with victims, always

Domestic Violence Awareness month is a time when SABRA once had activities happening regularly.

We will be there again, but this year, we are rebuilding and focusing on being well positioned to serve people in the poorest parts of Alabama - places long forgotten and unseen by those who could make a meaningful difference. We are working toward getting ALL of our service areas positioned to stand with victims, and be able to serve every victim in our slice of the Black Belt of Alabama. We stand with victims, and want to be their advocate - always.

Domestic Violence, one of the most common of all crimes, to a large degree sets the tone of the community. When dynamics are set in the home with violence being hidden, abetted, and children being told nothing is happening when they see with their own eyes that it certainly is, children are desensitized to violence. Is it any wonder that we have children with little regard to life, well being of others, or authority? In over 50% of homes where spouses or partners are abused, children are abused also. Even though children are traumatized by abuse in the home, they most often grow up to repeat the cycle as victim or abuser.

Domestic Violence is a public safety problem. Over 87% of inmates in prisons report growing up in homes where domestic violence, including sexual abuse, was prevalent. 

In 1990, I had a domestic violence case where the woman’s husband was terribly abusive. This woman was one of my first cases in this circuit. She had several cases against him and would ask that they be dismissed. She had an 11 year old son that he was not nice to. I explained the dynamics to her, the impact it would have on her son, the cycle of violence and how it would continue to progress. It took several years for her to make the break. By then her son was very angry, and full of hate for his stepfather, and resentment for his mother. He was right for gang involvement.

This young man, who was a sweet 11 year old when I first met him, after about four years in a home where domestic violence was present, and SABRA was in its infantile years, grew into a very angry young man, who was directly involved in the murders of at least three people and was executed by the State of Alabama for his crimes. 

I don’t know if his mother would have ever left his stepfather if it had not been for SABRA Sanctuary and its full operation and help for her. I don’t know if she would have left him sooner, had SABRA been in full operation sooner. But I do know with every fiber of my being that young man with a sweet nature was changed in a drastic and dastardly way by the violence against his mother and himself because his mother did not have the resources and the protection that women and their children have now.

Domestic violence victims can be difficult to help. It is a difficult decision, but one only they can make. They need support, information, and options. Victims need help in networking and knowing what is available to them. They need a safe place to stay while they decide what they need to do. At SABRA we offer them a safe place to stay while they get a safety plan lined up, for housing, counseling, work assessment, job training, school, court, legal assistance, and other help that may be available.