Can dads get postpartum depression? How to spot the symptoms

Can dads get postpartum depression? How to spot the symptoms

Welcoming a new baby turns life upside down, introducing an immediate, intense, and all-consuming shift. One minute you’re an adult with a routine and a sense of control over your life. The next minute you’re fumbling through midnight feedings, running on no sleep, and trying to soothe a tiny human whose needs feel endless.

For fathers, the transition to parenthood can be uniquely disorienting. When their partner is the one physically feeding and comforting the baby, fathers may feel sidelined or unsure of their role. They may want to help at home but have no idea how to contribute. At the same time, fathers might be grieving the sudden loss of freedom or identity. All of this can bring up a wave of unexpected emotions they don’t know how to express.

So, yes, dads and other nonbirthing partners can and do suffer from postpartum depression. While it’s well established that hormonal and physical changes make new mothers vulnerable to postpartum depression, more recent research shows that dads are also at risk of developing this condition.

In fact, fathers develop symptoms of postpartum depression nearly as often as new moms, but those symptoms are far more likely to go unrecognized. Alma examined the common causes and symptoms for paternal postpartum depression and explained how new fathers can get support.

Any type of depression merits support, but with the spotlight firmly fixed on mom and baby, it can be harder for dads to seek help. You may not feel like you “should” need support given all that your partner is managing. It’s important to remember that when dads are mentally healthy and supported, the whole family is stronger for it.

What can put men at risk for postpartum depression

There isn’t one cause of postpartum depression, but there are some situations and life experiences that make it more likely to occur. These risk factors include:

• A personal or family history of depression (including postpartum depression)
• Recent stressors, including pregnancy complications, the death of a loved one, or an illness
• Having a partner with postpartum depression
• Having a baby with special needs or health problems
• Having twins or triplets
• Relationship challenges with your partner
• Financial insecurity
• A lack of emotional support
• An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy

Signs and symptoms of postpartum depression in men

General symptoms of postpartum depression are similar in new mothers and fathers. However, research has found that men are more likely to experience somatic symptoms (e.g. physical pain and tension), avoidance and emotional withdrawal, irritability and anger, increased substance use, and violence towards their partner.

General signs and symptoms of postpartum depression to watch for:

• Feeling sad or depressed most of the day, nearly every day
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed
• Significant weight loss or weight gain
• Major changes in eating and/or sleeping habits (beyond what’s attributable to parenting an infant)
• Feeling tired or like you have no energy nearly every day
• Feeling guilty or worthless
• Difficulty thinking or making decisions
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
• Lack of interest in your baby, not feeling bonded to your baby, or feeling very anxious around your baby
• Fear of harming the baby or yourself

It’s easy to dismiss symptoms of postpartum depression as a normal part of adjusting to life with a new baby. And in some cases, mood swings, exhaustion, and stress are a normal part of the transition. That said, it’s time to see a doctor or therapist if your symptoms:

• Last more than two weeks
• Are getting worse
• Are making it hard to take care of yourself or your baby
• Include thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby

The effects of paternal postpartum depression

Postpartum depression can make the already monumental task of caring for a newborn even more difficult. For example, the sleep deprivation that all new parents face can be intensified by the effects of depression, leading to even greater exhaustion and emotional strain. Postpartum depression can also interfere with the ability to connect with a partner, care for the baby, and develop a strong bond with a child.

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Research has found that children with one or more parents experiencing postpartum depression may be at higher risk for certain emotional difficulties, behavioral issues, and hyperactivity.

Some studies have also linked parental postpartum depression with academic struggles later in childhood. However, the relationship between these concerns isn’t fully understood. Many factors may contribute, and more research is needed to clarify how postpartum depression affects child development over time.

Why it’s so hard for new dads to get help

Unfortunately, society still tends to overlook men’s emotional needs, and this is especially true during the postpartum period. When a new baby arrives, the attention naturally centers on the birthing parent and newborn. While that focus is important, it can leave dads and moms feeling invisible or guilty for having their own needs.

And the instinct to “tough it out” doesn’t come from nowhere. From a young age, boys are taught to hide vulnerability, solve problems on their own, and associate strength with silence. So when the weight of new fatherhood becomes overwhelming, it can trigger deep feelings of shame, inadequacy, and isolation.

To make matters worse, those same outdated beliefs are often echoed by friends, family, and even other dads who were raised with the same messages. The unspoken rule that “real men don’t ask for help” still lingers.

But that message is false and harmful. There is real strength in recognizing when you’re struggling, knowing your limits, and choosing to get support so you can show up fully for your family.

How men can get support for postpartum depression

If you’re struggling, know that there is help available, and you don’t have to wait until things get worse. Connecting with a therapist is one of the most effective steps you can take. Even attending sessions every other week can be effective in reducing the intensity of postpartum depression.

While many types of therapy can help, research shows that cognitive behavioral therapy is especially effective in treating postpartum depression. Combining medication with therapy may also be a potential option.

At the same time, there are small, meaningful actions you can take right now to support your mental health:

• Prioritize sleep when you can. Even a short nap or trading night shifts can make a difference.
• Move your body. A short walk, a stretch, or a few minutes outside can help regulate your mood and clear your head.
• Stay connected. A brief check-in with a friend or family member can help you feel connected to your loved ones and yourself.
• Limit alcohol and other substances. While they can be a relief in the moment, they can worsen mood swings and sleep issues.
• Give yourself credit. Remind yourself that many people struggle during this life transition, and you are doing the best you can.

One hard but important step is talking to your partner about how you’re feeling. It can feel really tricky to bring up your struggles when your partner is struggling, too. But it’s possible to share your experience in a way that creates connection.

You can try saying something like, “I know you are dealing with so much right now, and I see how hard you’re working. I’m feeling overwhelmed too, and I think I need some support so I can keep showing up the way I want to.”

When you let your partner in gently, clearly, and with empathy, you create an opportunity for connection. And that’s what your baby needs most: parents who feel supported and present.

You’re not alone, and you’re not failing as a new dad. Taking care of your mental health puts you on a path to being a good parent.

This story was produced by Alma and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.