Research shows straight and gay men experience jealousy differently

By Stephen Beech

Jealousy over infidelity depends on whether you are straight or gay, according to new research.

Only the most heterosexual men are primarily jealous of sexual infidelity, suggests the study.

But homosexual and bisexual men are more jealous of emotional infidelity, in the same way that women are, say scientists.

Lesbian and bisexual women are also most jealous of emotional infidelity in the same way that heterosexual women are.

Professors Mons Bendixen and Leif Edvard Ottesen Kennair, from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU), have spent several years studying infidelity and jealousy.

For a long time, the researchers interpreted their findings as saying that men are more often most jealous of sexual infidelity, while women are more jealous of emotional infidelity.

But it turns out it is not that simple after all - sexual orientation can also affect jealousy.

Kennair and Bendixen collaborated with Professor David Schmitt, of Kansas State University, on the new study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

More than 4,000 people, aged 16 to 80, took part in the study.

The participants were recruited partly through Facebook and partly through the Gaysir website and other forums for queer individuals.

Kennair said: “It is still the case that the most heterosexual men are most jealous of sexual infidelity.

"But this is not true for bisexual or homosexual men.

"They are most jealous of the feelings their partner might have for someone else."

When it comes to jealousy, homosexual and bisexual men bear a closer resemblance to women, according to the researchers.

Bendixen said: “This exception to the general rule is not found in lesbian and bisexual women.

"Lesbian and bisexual women are most jealous of emotional infidelity, in the same way that heterosexual women are."

“It is important to point out here that our research did not primarily focus on categorical sexual orientation."

Kennair said: "We investigated the degree to which individuals are attracted to men - androphilia - and to women - gynephilia - in both sexes."

The research team explained that jealousy is an emotional response to a threat against a valued relationship.

Infidelity is an example of such a threat, either in the form of a partner falling in love with or having sex with someone else.

The way jealousy works is that you react emotionally to signs of infidelity in your partner, according to the researchers.

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That can, in turn, trigger a series of actions to protect the relationship.

Examples include everything from confrontations, monitoring and restricting the partner’s social contact with other people, to ingratiation, flattery and increased sexual activity.

But in homosexual relationships, regardless of gender, mutually hidden sexual infidelity is less relevant as a partner is unlikely to have a secret child with someone else.

The researchers say the fear of a partner leaving becomes much more important for homosexual individuals – the jealousy is more centred around the emotions involved.

The researchers say that the way in which participants were recruited ensured that sexual minorities were well represented.

Kennair said: “We also developed a method that could more or less predict the participants’ sexual orientation."

The questions covered personality, childhood interests, career preferences and how the participants experience their own gender role.

The answers could be used to predict the participants’ sexual preference with high certainty, ranked by how strongly they were attracted to men or to women.

Kennair said, “Biological sex is fixed and strongly linked to the production of sex cells.

"However, with regards to sexual orientation and how we perceive our own gender and sexuality, there are no clear-cut boundaries.

“The degree of masculinity and femininity varies greatly from one person to the next and over time, regardless of biological sex."

The researchers say one "great mystery" still remains – bisexual men who are partners with women.

Bendixen said, “Bisexual men with female partners are different from heterosexual men with female partners.

"These bisexual men are also more jealous of emotional infidelity and less jealous of sexual infidelity."

But that does not fit the pattern found elsewhere in the study.

The researchers explained that bisexual men with female partners face the same risk as heterosexual men of investing resources in another man’s child if their partner is unfaithful.

Kennair said, “We still don’t know why this is.

"One possibility is that the jealousy response is easily feminised.

"As a result, only the most masculine men display typical masculine sexual jealousy."

That may also help explain why bisexual men are less common than bisexual women, according to the research team.

In the United States, up to 6% of women identify as bisexual, compared with just 2% of men.

The researchers say that if bisexual men are more often tricked into raising another man’s child, their genes are not passed on to the next generation to the same extent.

But the team said that is just a theory, and is an area that requires further research.